Not Just a NUMBER!

one fine morning, I was reading the Hindu, observing & noting the current affairs relevant for my civils prep . I was shocked by a paradox. A big brand coaching advertisement featuring NEET toppers . exactly behind that page there were 2 news reports of students committing suicide failed to clear the same exam! two parallel worlds, where the exam has changed life of one & snatched life of another! Being a sister of a NEET aspirant and passed through this phase 5 years ago, empathy in my heart for these students made me to analyze what is pressing students to take such a extreme step. During my Engineering days, I got ample chance to observe people and understand the psychological aspect of every human action. Under section 309 of Indian Penal code, attempting suicide is a criminal offence. I believe behind every crime there is a underlying social & psychological factor which has been operating for years. All was good until a child obtains 95–100% or 9–10 cgpa in 10th boards after chasing meaning less rat race . People start assuming child should now go to MBBS from AIIMS & B.Tech from IIT , nothing less. Without even acknowledging the wishes, aptitude, caliber and plans of the child for oneself , society pushes into another rat race Olympics ! Fear of Missing out (FOMO) operates silently in the background. Parents feel that if child do not become Engineer / Doctor ,there is no life ! This is embibed on the mind of adolescents souls, which acts as a slow poison. Commercialization of education and marketing propaganda increases insecurity of students as well as parents , to the extent that they get blind folded to ignore other existing career options where the child could have been really successful . Given the ruthless competition in the world of entrance exams, which has its own negative impact on the mind of students. Stress, anxiety and merciless competition kills the Childhood of students. Mechanical life in the coaching mafia hotspots be it Kota or Latur , literally burns out students . I have heard many such stories from juniors and classmates while eating dinner on mess table. There is widespread belief that if you don’t go to Kota, Latur, Pune etc. , you will never succeed. This is no longer relevant . Age group 15–26 years is highly sensitive. Some students have never seen the external world until they enter this world war ! Distancing from home, burden of expectation, lack of emotional support and mechanical life has adverse impact of mental health of students. Even few like me, who hate coaching & prefer self study feel at a times, insecurity, fear of missing out and sometimes lack of guidance . This makes huge difference in where you stand in the competition. When a child is appears for the exam , it is made to ‘appear’ as DO or DIE! if couldn’t do, student would obviously choose to die! Suppose a child from a first generation graduate family is preparing to get into medical college may be weaker on the sides of guidance, access to facilities etc. but there is ,much lesser burden of expectations. Comparatively the child belonging from a doctor family generally ,will have tremendous pressure to get into decent medical college. Divergence between expectation and realities result into stress which often culminates into extreme steps. Peer pressure forms another aspect. As in 3 idiots dialogue “Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai … Lekin dost first aa jaye toh zyaada dukh hota”. Fear of staying behind of competition & increasing age especially when you’re dropper is different heartache! Then there come, Rebel students, who take up the career of their choice, explore there path and become eventually successful in the life. However it is never easy to follow your heart! Some times over glorification of a particular profession kills many dreams . Societal pressure for irrelevant things is worst thing about Indian society. For instance, I have heard many so called relatives calling names to my parents, ‘Oh your daughter did not join medical college?’ with a hint of scorn and downgrading judgmental tone. As if being a doctor’s child not joining Medical college is unbailable & cognizable crime which has only punishment of life imprisonment of taunts and judgements by such irrelevant people! Even people who have no knowledge of the exam become educational experts , just give them an opportunity! it is easier to ignore external influences but not when it comes to parents. Social pressure, imposing one’s unfulfilled desires on children and making it prestige issue is evil trinity! Even after graduating from a decent engineering college with good result and decent branch, it is normal to hear that, It would have been better if you were Dentist at least! Over glorification and obsession for certain professions reach a fatal level that, at a times, that parents get guilt tripped assuming there must be a fault in there parenting that there child did not choose career as per their choice. Independent career choice is seen as rebellion against their ‘sanskars’. Then for next 5–6…. infinity years until the child achieves success that fits into social expectation, The parent(s) virtually disown the child. It feels worst when you find being judged by own parent(s) for not able to make into certain exam. Sometimes, actions of parent(s) may be wrong but their intentions are never! The child is never like before after this accident! yes, this should ideally be taken as accident, not like a rarest of rare crime! The child may appear smiling from outside, but there is something deeper down that kills everyday, bit by bit! Many students loose their confidence forever and never be able to realize their true potential. The relationship between parent(s) and child will never be back like before . Loosing your child forever, is much worst than your child not being engineer /doctor . These emotionally vulnerable children seek emotional support from outside world. There are chances of being exploited the vulnerability of these children towards crime, drug abuse etc. Lack of emotional support , needed at right time can push them into mental health issues like depression. Way forward from such situation would be, unconditional support of parents to their children without caring about opinion of irrelevant people. The only person who can help students to bounce back from this accident is themselves! Every person knows their abilities like none else. In everyone’s life at least once there comes a stage where the only person standing with you is YOU! Try to be strong for yourself, or the (only) person who believes in you truly. Always remember failure is an opportunity to develop yourself better. I know it is difficult to move on over such rough patch is not easy, I have been there for 2 years. Best way to get rid of negative emotions is acknowledge them. Accept them and “aagachhantu pravaham”( go with the flow)! Introspect where you went wrong. If willing ,gear up for another attempt . If not , explore other career options . Never hesitate to move away from negative vibes(places, things, memories, people) . Develop good hobbies- painting , photography ( change the point of view towards the world), dance ,singing( reduce influence of negative emotions), martial arts(make you mentally & physically stronger and confident), writing (builds your thought process). Success in long run doesn’t depend upon some price tags like percentage in board exams, Rank in some overrated exam, or seat in some coveted college! Rather, one should focus on building personality that helps to survive in this world. Confidence, clarity in the thought process, good articulation, Courage , Moral values, maturity can only make you successful in true sense, marks and rank are just numbers! Moreover 10–12th, NEET/JEE is not dead end . (Misinterpreted )failure in any of these is not dead end to your career. I know, Things become quite difficult , none believes in your capacity if you’re not able to cross this socially imposed benchmarks. Graduation gives multiple chances to evolve yourself better . after Degree, there are multiple ways to build your desired career path. Don’t kill yourself assuming this is dead end, I repeat! Failures always comes to test you and build back you better! Use this opportunity to build emotional intelligence. As per my observation, failures breaks your heart open to understand feel the intensity of emotions better- of others and your own! This is very important life skill. Present world demands EQ with IQ. Your hardest times takes you to greatest moments of your life. Tough life makes Tough people! No success is final & no failure is fatal. Until then “ARISE AWAKE & STOP NOT UNTIL YOU GET SUCCESS” ( desired by you, not imposed by society)”

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उदाहरणार्थ अंडी देणाऱ्या कोंबडीला पोसावे लागते. तिला जगवावे लागते. गरज आहे म्हणून कुठलाही विचार न करता ती कोंबडी कापायची नसते.अंडी देणाऱ्या कोंबडीची ही गोष्ट गुंतवणूक करताना संयमाची, कष्ट करण्याची प्र